Advertising Supplement/Gentlemen's Clubs/Slatterns

Type: Exclusive gentlemen's club

Location: Mort Central

Description: Located in the heart of Mort Central, Slatterns is one of, if not the most exclusive gentleman’s clubs on Mort. One does not simply walk into Slatterns. Once must be invited. Invitees are carefully screened before a formal invitation is made. Only those with a surplus of money, power or fame are called on for membership. Invitations are always elaborate and intended as a major spectacle. Traditionally, invitations are delivered by an impossibly beautiful woman flanked by two impossibly huge men. They will arrive in an impossibly huge Augustus limousine. The invitee will be brought into the limo where they will be wined and dined on the finest food and drink before the offer is made. No expense is spared on the presentation. The terms of the membership are financially dear and utterly non-negotiable. The initial membership fee is 5,000c payable immediately, with monthly dues of 1,500c. These fees cover all food and drink at club. Only gratuity and “other expenses” need to be covered.

Despite its name, Slatterns is an extremely opulent and upscale establishment. Members are expected to dress appropriately. While coat and tie or formal gown is not strictly required, showing up in tatty dungarees could eventually get your membership revoked. The building and décor are classic Head Office. Glass, steel, marble and leather are the mainstays. Subtle colored neon tubing trims the interior, suffusing the club with a warm, exotic glow. Seating can be found at the bars, tables, semi-private booths, or one of the many raised platforms on which the famed women of Slatterns perform.

The women of Slatterns are legendary throughout the World of Progress. While the regular bartenders and waitresses are all stunningly attractive, the dancers’ grace and beauty almost defies description. Twenty-four hours a day the finest women in the Known Universe are on display. Though the club invites members of all races (though admittedly few Shaktars and Wraiths accept), Slatterns only employs female humans as wait-staff and female humans and ebons as dancers.

The dancers are all available for personal and private performances as well as a cornucopia of carnal delights. A patron need only ask a waitress for “The Menu.” Requesting “a menu” will produce an actual listing of the drinks and foods available. Requesting “The Menu” will produce a leather-bound, gold-leafed folio with bios and photos of all available dancers on that shift. Along with the photos and bios is a detailed listing of all the “activities” available. These range from as traditional as a lap dance to as exotic as a full-blown (pardon the pun) orgy. The dancers are highly skilled in almost any carnal activity one could dream of. No prices are listed on The Menu; if you have to ask, you probably can’t afford it, and those who can’t afford it would never have been invited in the first place. Accounts are simply discreetly billed for any “activities.”

Whereas most Operatives and Contract Killers would scoff at the idea of paying for sex, there is no such stigma attached to paying for pleasure at Slatterns. Members feel they are paying for quality and public image. They feel paying for the delights of a Slatterns dancer is no different than spending 50,000 on a top of the line Highjoule Masari instead of taking the bus. Both get you where you need to go, but one looks and feels so much nicer and nobody ever looked with envious eyes at some schmuck riding the bus.

Many of the members of Slatterns are there only for social and business reasons. Anyone who is anyone is a member of Slatterns. Being seen going in or out of the club is an automatic boost to the reputation. Business deals are often made inside. Business executives, financiers, and agents do everything in their power to obtain a membership to Slatterns. The large cost of membership often pays for itself after a couple of well planned deals. In an average night, hundreds of thousands, if not millions of credits could change hands under the neon glow.

Slatterns also has the distinction of being one of the few places Intruder frequents of his own volition. He always comes alone and has a private room in the back. Nobody, including management, knows what goes on in there; the less they know the better. Two Dark Finders guard the door to prevent snoopers. Intruder is quite sociable on his way to or from his room, stopping to talk with just about anyone who asks. He is very polite and seems genuinely regretful when he says he must be going.

While Slatterns is not a gambling establishment, accommodations can be made for guests, with the house taking 10% of every pot. Generally a room can be set aside and a dancer provided to run the game. Possibly as a bad intended pun, the only game permitted in Slatterns is poker.