Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Entertainment/Television/Programming Update/Pound of Flesh with Lumpy Jaw

Pound of Flesh with Lumpy Jaw

Pound of Flesh is rapidly becoming one of the more popular television shows on Mort, featuring two of the populace’s favorites: violence and fabulous prizes. The premise is simple; when two people can’t resolve their differences peacefully, one of them contacts the production staff at Pound of Flesh and states their beef. If the producers feel the beef is genuinely interesting (no petty gang squabbles!) they’ll call the other person and see if they are interested in resolving the issue in the ring. If all parties agree, they are booked and eventually brought to Lumpy Jaw CCS for training.

This is really the hook of the show. For one week, each contestant receives intense, one-on-one training with and established Contract Killer. The killer will also act as ringside manager during the fight. At the end of the week the contestants duke it out. Fights are three rounds of five minutes each and are fought to knock-out, submission or, in the event the fight goes the full time, decision. No weapons, armor or drugs are permitted in the fights.

Prizes for winners can be as simple as cash (usually in the area of 1000u) to ringside tickets to upcoming Contract Killer events. Sometimes special prizes are awarded for specific deeds. A Calaharvey motorcycle is the standing prize for anyone who knocks out their opponent in a single blow in the first five seconds of a match. Killers also like to sweeten the pot by offering additional prizes for their fighters if they win. Ridiculous cash prizes (10,000-20,000u), custom replicas of signature melee weapons, even use of the Killer’s home for a weekend catered party have been offered. Regardless of who wins, both contestants receive a selection of Lumpy Jaw clothing and selected memorabilia autographed by their trainers.

The CK trainers take these fights quite seriously, as they’re seen as a reflection on the abilities of the Killer. Smack talk flies from trainers and contestants alike, and trainer grudge matches are common, taking place immediately after the contestants finish their match.

The format of the show is virtually the same from week to week. The first half of each episode covers the training of the two contestants. This is often hilarious, as the trainers attempt to teach complicated signature moves to total novices. The second half features the actual match, any trainer grudge matches, interviews and awarding of prizes.

Pound of Flesh airs Tuesdays at 7pm on SIC Channel 4.

Advertising Supplement/Restaurants/ChünderHaüs/Special Events

ChünderHaüs is pleased to announce that Shaktar Operative K'Dgh (SCL9B.0) of Team Spartan will be visiting all of the Uptown ChünderHaüs locations during from 12/23/902-12/31/902! He will be available for autographs, photos and special activities! Bring the kids and meet a real life Sector Ranger! Watch as he powers down plate after plate of awesome ChünderHaüs food! Just don't touch his Orange Chicken, he's killed for less!


Issuing Department: Cloak Division
Color Code:GREY
BPN #: CD/111111/AS
Surveillance: Station Analysis
Squad/Operative Undertaking: Team Spartan
Date Issued/Date Completed: 12/28/902, 12/28/902

- Subversive [D-NOTICE] determined to be behind recent rash of bombings in Suburbia
- Information gathered via Operative Obsession's interrogation determined [D-NOTICE] likely had a base of operations outside Mort City in [D-NOTICE]
- Squad dispatched via Stingray dropship to [D-NOTICE]
-Squad located facility and performed a dynamic entry, eliminating guards while minimizing collateral damage
Squad prevented [D-NOTICE] from escaping. Suspect was captured alive and remanded to Shivers for Cloak Division pickup.

Collateral Damage to SLA Property:MINOR. Firearms discharged in a [D-NOTICE]. Moderate damage to company shuttle and trike. Any damage mitigated by capture of suspect alive and minimal damage to facility.

Squad Fatalities:None.

Conclusion:BPN satisfactorily completed. Individual payout+Retrieval Bonuses: 3060c/Operative. SCL +0.5/Operative.


Issuing Department: Investigation
Color Code:WHITE
BPN #: IN/12252009/XM
Surveillance: Station Analysis
Squad/Operative Undertaking: Team Spartan
Date Issued/Date Completed: 12/26/902, 12/27/902

- Squad dispatched to several Suburbia locales to investigate series of bombings
- Squad staked out several locations in Suburbia, eventually locating a targeted home
- Squad located bomber leaving area, pursued and captured suspect
-Shiver demolitions team dispatched to dispose of explosive; explosive successfully neutralized
-Squad leader Obsession interrogated suspect, revealing identity and location of individual ordering the bombings. Suspect turned over to Shivers.

Collateral Damage to SLA Property:MINIMAL. Firearms discharged in a civilian area. Any damage mitigated by safe disposal of explosive and prevention of future incidents.

Squad Fatalities:None.

Conclusion:BPN satisfactorily completed. Individual payout: 350c/Operative. SCL +0.5/Operative.

ADDENDUM: Squad recommended follow up Grey BPN to eliminate subversive responsible for organizing the bombings.