ENTERTAINMENT/TELEVISION/PROGRAMMING UPDATE/GOREZONE

Station: SIC

Program: Gorezone

Airtime: 19:30 SST

SUMMARY: Team Spartan reunites with ex-squadmate turned Contract Killer Apathy in a bloody reunion! Hunter and Big Jim Slade join in the fun for a slaughter not soon to be forgotten. See Frother Glenn Fiddr3e04nn17sggj,...

:>Priority OMEGA override...

:>System lockout initiating...

:>Activating RUNTIME.VENT.LAIR.INIT...

:>VENT active...

:>Purging security buffers...

:>Buffers clear...

:>.dragon in flight...

Attention deluded masses of Mort! Throw off the yoke of oppression that is SLA Industries. You are living a lie. Freedom is an illusion. Television and the word of Slayer have enslaved your minds and souls. Look around and see what the “World of Progress” has provided you. You are not living. You are merely existing. DarkNight can show you the way to true freedom. Arm yourselves and fight back against your oppressors! Take to the streets. Our vigilant freedom fighters will find those who are willing to fight back and give them the tools they need to topple this giant. DarkNight lives!!!

:>Activating RUNTIME.VENT.SHUTDOWN.INIT...

:>VENT shutting down...

:>.dragon returning to lair...

:>Reactivating security buffers...

:>Priority OMEGA override canceled...

...spippvlaqqn...rriens the likes of which will give you nightmares for weeks! Join us this Thusday and see why the Department of Streets and Sanitation has been so busy!

Remember at any time, Your Zone could be a GORE ZONE!

Entertainment/Television/Programming Update/Pound of Flesh with Lumpy Jaw

Pound of Flesh with Lumpy Jaw

Pound of Flesh is rapidly becoming one of the more popular television shows on Mort, featuring two of the populace’s favorites: violence and fabulous prizes. The premise is simple; when two people can’t resolve their differences peacefully, one of them contacts the production staff at Pound of Flesh and states their beef. If the producers feel the beef is genuinely interesting (no petty gang squabbles!) they’ll call the other person and see if they are interested in resolving the issue in the ring. If all parties agree, they are booked and eventually brought to Lumpy Jaw CCS for training.

This is really the hook of the show. For one week, each contestant receives intense, one-on-one training with and established Contract Killer. The killer will also act as ringside manager during the fight. At the end of the week the contestants duke it out. Fights are three rounds of five minutes each and are fought to knock-out, submission or, in the event the fight goes the full time, decision. No weapons, armor or drugs are permitted in the fights.

Prizes for winners can be as simple as cash (usually in the area of 1000u) to ringside tickets to upcoming Contract Killer events. Sometimes special prizes are awarded for specific deeds. A Calaharvey motorcycle is the standing prize for anyone who knocks out their opponent in a single blow in the first five seconds of a match. Killers also like to sweeten the pot by offering additional prizes for their fighters if they win. Ridiculous cash prizes (10,000-20,000u), custom replicas of signature melee weapons, even use of the Killer’s home for a weekend catered party have been offered. Regardless of who wins, both contestants receive a selection of Lumpy Jaw clothing and selected memorabilia autographed by their trainers.

The CK trainers take these fights quite seriously, as they’re seen as a reflection on the abilities of the Killer. Smack talk flies from trainers and contestants alike, and trainer grudge matches are common, taking place immediately after the contestants finish their match.

The format of the show is virtually the same from week to week. The first half of each episode covers the training of the two contestants. This is often hilarious, as the trainers attempt to teach complicated signature moves to total novices. The second half features the actual match, any trainer grudge matches, interviews and awarding of prizes.

Pound of Flesh airs Tuesdays at 7pm on SIC Channel 4.

Entertainment/Television/Programming Update/In The Crosshairs

In The Crosshairs with Annette Winnegar

In The Crosshairs (ITC) is a celebrity interview show hosted by the lovely Annette Winnegar. The show is aired live and guests are given no advance notice of the questions they will be facing. The show is rapidly gaining popularity for a number of reasons. First is that Annette is a bombshell. With flowing red hair, piercing green eyes, creamy white skin and a tremendous pair of breasts, many people tune in to gawk at Annette and her impossibly skimpy outfit of the week. Next, ITC manages to book some of the biggest names on Mort. Jeff Moreau, Symbiote and Sour Blood area few of the celebrities that have sat “In The Crosshairs.” Finally, people watch for the interviews. Annette has shown no fear when questioning guests, asking questions that are fabulously nosy, inappropriate, embarrassing and just plain rude. Who can forget when Cerise pulled a gun when Annette asked her if, considering the way she dresses, she was a lesbian?

Given some of the altercations that have occurred on the show, it's remarkable that Annette can bring in the big names. However, ITC pulls in such huge viewer numbers that sponsored Contract Killers and Operatives have their sponsors begging the network to appear on the show for free advertising. Killer, Ops and celebrities also can't resist the quick fame an appearance on ITC brings. Good or bad, that level of attention means big publicity and big money. ITC is by invitation only, which further increases the prestige of an appearance. ITC does not pay guests of the show, though normal sponsor appearance fees apply. In lieu of pay, ITC provides an extravagant gift basket filled with sponsors' items for each guest. Many guests have said the basket alone was worth the horror of appearing “In The Crosshairs.”

In The Crosshairs appears every Thursday at 8pm on Channel 13.