Thursday, May 7, 2009

Advertising Supplement/Restaurants/Boscoe McFeeney's House of Haggis

Boscoe McFeeney's House of Haggis

Type: Frother theme restaurant

Location: Mort Central

Description: Almost universally reviled as one of the most disgusting concepts ever for a restaurant, House of Haggis (HoH) manages to be a surprisingly profitable enterprise.

Boscoe Mc Feeney was a Frother Contract Killer. He was reasonably successful on the circuit, living the dream of money, women and partying. However, the repeated nights of hard partying caught up with him. He started missing training sessions and was showing up for events and matches hung-over or still drunk/stoned out of his gourd. In no condition to fight, he was dealt a series of staggering defeats. After an ill-conceived Last Man Standing match against Mr. Consequence left him in an LAD recovery room, Boscoe realized stoned and concussed was no way to go through life. He quit the Circuit, which made his agent and Circuit officials none too happy. Even though he had become a losing fighter, people still paid top credit to watch this goof ball Frother get his ass regularly handed to him.

Having retired with a goodly sum of money from sponsorships and earlier wins socked away, Boscoe approached his clan for guidance. They asked what his aspirations were now that he was off the Circuit. He said he did not want to continue as an Operative, but wanted to open a restaurant. The clan gave its blessing, going so far as to procure a location in Mort Central for the restaurant. They hooked him up with a business advisor and left it at that. It seemed to everyone that Boscoe had gone from a drugged out Contract Killer to a respectable businessman.

Everyone was quite shocked when six months later, the doors opened to Boscoe McFeeney's House Of Haggis. The small restaurant was decorated with tartans from all the major clans (with McFeeney's clan being the largest and most predominantly displayed. Pictures and memorabilia from well-known Frother Operatives and Contract Killers adorned every spare space on the walls. Dance mixes of traditional bagpipe songs played over the sound system. Waitresses dressed in traditional (albeit extremely skimpy) Frother garb worked the tables. Most horrifying was the menu. Every entrée and appetizer contained Boscoe's favorite dish: haggis. Boiled, steamed, fried, baked, sliced for a sandwich, chopped on a salad – if there was a way to serve haggis, Boscoe explored it. The desert menu defied description. On the sign over the door and on all the menus was Boscoe's smiling face.

The problem was, the Contract Circuit still owned the rights to his image and issued a cease and desist order against the restaurant. No pun intended, the Frother community went berserk. Clans united in support of one of their own. They flooded into the restaurant to start a protest that would last for days. As the protest wore on, the protesters grew hungry. Eventually, hunger turned to desperation. Despite the cease and desist order, Boscoe instructed his staff to fire up the ovens and start feeding the protesters. The media was soon on the scene. Frothers, attention seekers by nature, wanted to show the public their support for Boscoe and that they were not afraid of the menu. What followed was televised mayhem. Frothers from rival clans were having haggis eating contests, followed by haggis hurling contests (both physical and gastric). Viewers piled into the location to be a part of the action.

The lawyers at the Circuit were fundamentally screwed. If they went ahead and shut down the restaurant for good, or attempted to wrest control from Boscoe, the Frother community would go into open revolt. Ultra-Violet and Tig had already come forward in support for their fellow Frother. Even the Video Nasty had been heard to say that he respected anyone who was intentionally disgusting and openly defied the system. The Circuit knew what it had to do.

The Circuit offered Boscoe an obscene amount of money for his restaurant. He would be allowed to stay on as a figure-head and advisor. A legend was born.

The joke is, the food at the HoH is generally repulsive. The bulk of the customers (mostly Frothers) eat there on a dare, out of loyalty, or because they're too drunk or stoned to know any better. Often it is a combination of the three.

Being a Frother-centric restaurant, HoH is usually extremely rowdy; impromptu eating contests and food fights are a fairly regular occurrence. The general rule is don't wear anything to HoH that you want to keep. Lumo has recently worked a deal with HoH to install vending machines at the restaurant. There are currently talks on franchising out the restaurant across Mort.

An entrée from HoH runs about 5-7 credits. Appetizers and desert are 1-2 credits.