Advertising Supplement/Restaurants/Hoffman's Delicatessen

Hoffman's Delicatessen

While Mort Central and Uptown boast an almost countless selection of dining choices, Suburbia is home to one of the successful independent eateries on Mort: Hoffman's Delicatessen. The décor is strictly utilitarian with plastic tables and chairs and white tiles floors and walls. Pictures and news clippings of celebrities and Operatives are scattered on the walls. Hoffman's, however, does not lack atmosphere. Abe Hoffman and his staff fill the shop with lively chatter about sports, politics and life on Mort in general. Like The Pit, Hoffman's maintains a strict “no weapons or heavy armor” policy. Facilities are not even provided for their temporary storage.

“Why do I do it? I run a deli, not a farkakt shooting gallery! Leave that drek in your car or at home. And these armor suits, OY! You'd think they were going to Cannibal Sector One and not for a nosh. You don't need five hundred pounds of ceramic to eat my Reuben. The worst that could happen to you here is a bit of gas. And that's just because the sauerkraut is so fresh! We use only fresh ingredients here.”

• Abe Hoffman, age 67

Hoffman's claims of freshness appear to be accurate. The constant lines at the counter indicate his food is as good as he claims. His suppliers are a closely guarded secret. The Shivers and Operatives refuse to look into it for fear they might find some illegal activity that will shut down the deli.

“Who knows where he gets his stuff from? It could be Randolph Logistics. Hell, it could be Thresher making nightly deliveries via powersuit drop. I don't know and don't intend to find out. I'm not doing anything to risk my daily knish.”

• Shiver Sergeant (name withheld by request)

In the end, Hoffman keeps his nose clean and his food fresh and delicious. Hoffman's serves traditional deli fare. Comfort foods are the order of the day with a fine selection of meats and cheeses, bagels and bialies, and assorted breads, soups and sandwiches. For over forty years Hoffman has faithfully served the people of Mort, gladly joining the Racial Equality Program.

“And why not? Stormers and Shaktars? Absolutely. It warms the heart to watch the big boys eat. Such appetites! And so polite. Wraiths? A dream customer. Rare brisket, what could be easier? The Frothers can be a bit meshuge, but what can you do? You don't complain about people who buy macaroons by the gross. Ebons? A bit tightly wound but such sheyn ponems! Brain Wasters? They can be schmucks sometimes but can't we all? They behave if they want to eat. I bet even Carrien would play nice here. You can't be mad at anyone when you have a bagel and schmear with a nice piece of lox.”

• Abe Hoffman, age 67

Hoffman's Deli is located in Suburbia; Maxwell Sector; Laughann's Walk 4213. Open 5am-Midnight daily.

Advertising Supplement/Restaurants/Boscoe McFeeney's House of Haggis

Boscoe McFeeney's House of Haggis

Type: Frother theme restaurant

Location: Mort Central

Description: Almost universally reviled as one of the most disgusting concepts ever for a restaurant, House of Haggis (HoH) manages to be a surprisingly profitable enterprise.

Boscoe Mc Feeney was a Frother Contract Killer. He was reasonably successful on the circuit, living the dream of money, women and partying. However, the repeated nights of hard partying caught up with him. He started missing training sessions and was showing up for events and matches hung-over or still drunk/stoned out of his gourd. In no condition to fight, he was dealt a series of staggering defeats. After an ill-conceived Last Man Standing match against Mr. Consequence left him in an LAD recovery room, Boscoe realized stoned and concussed was no way to go through life. He quit the Circuit, which made his agent and Circuit officials none too happy. Even though he had become a losing fighter, people still paid top credit to watch this goof ball Frother get his ass regularly handed to him.

Having retired with a goodly sum of money from sponsorships and earlier wins socked away, Boscoe approached his clan for guidance. They asked what his aspirations were now that he was off the Circuit. He said he did not want to continue as an Operative, but wanted to open a restaurant. The clan gave its blessing, going so far as to procure a location in Mort Central for the restaurant. They hooked him up with a business advisor and left it at that. It seemed to everyone that Boscoe had gone from a drugged out Contract Killer to a respectable businessman.

Everyone was quite shocked when six months later, the doors opened to Boscoe McFeeney's House Of Haggis. The small restaurant was decorated with tartans from all the major clans (with McFeeney's clan being the largest and most predominantly displayed. Pictures and memorabilia from well-known Frother Operatives and Contract Killers adorned every spare space on the walls. Dance mixes of traditional bagpipe songs played over the sound system. Waitresses dressed in traditional (albeit extremely skimpy) Frother garb worked the tables. Most horrifying was the menu. Every entrée and appetizer contained Boscoe's favorite dish: haggis. Boiled, steamed, fried, baked, sliced for a sandwich, chopped on a salad – if there was a way to serve haggis, Boscoe explored it. The desert menu defied description. On the sign over the door and on all the menus was Boscoe's smiling face.

The problem was, the Contract Circuit still owned the rights to his image and issued a cease and desist order against the restaurant. No pun intended, the Frother community went berserk. Clans united in support of one of their own. They flooded into the restaurant to start a protest that would last for days. As the protest wore on, the protesters grew hungry. Eventually, hunger turned to desperation. Despite the cease and desist order, Boscoe instructed his staff to fire up the ovens and start feeding the protesters. The media was soon on the scene. Frothers, attention seekers by nature, wanted to show the public their support for Boscoe and that they were not afraid of the menu. What followed was televised mayhem. Frothers from rival clans were having haggis eating contests, followed by haggis hurling contests (both physical and gastric). Viewers piled into the location to be a part of the action.

The lawyers at the Circuit were fundamentally screwed. If they went ahead and shut down the restaurant for good, or attempted to wrest control from Boscoe, the Frother community would go into open revolt. Ultra-Violet and Tig had already come forward in support for their fellow Frother. Even the Video Nasty had been heard to say that he respected anyone who was intentionally disgusting and openly defied the system. The Circuit knew what it had to do.

The Circuit offered Boscoe an obscene amount of money for his restaurant. He would be allowed to stay on as a figure-head and advisor. A legend was born.

The joke is, the food at the HoH is generally repulsive. The bulk of the customers (mostly Frothers) eat there on a dare, out of loyalty, or because they're too drunk or stoned to know any better. Often it is a combination of the three.

Being a Frother-centric restaurant, HoH is usually extremely rowdy; impromptu eating contests and food fights are a fairly regular occurrence. The general rule is don't wear anything to HoH that you want to keep. Lumo has recently worked a deal with HoH to install vending machines at the restaurant. There are currently talks on franchising out the restaurant across Mort.

An entrée from HoH runs about 5-7 credits. Appetizers and desert are 1-2 credits.

Advertising Supplement/Pharmaceuticals/ The Apothecary (Sloane's Apothecary)

The Apothecary

Type: Custom drug store

Location: Mort Central, Uptown, Suburbia, Upper Downtown.

Description: Originally known as “Sloane’s Apothecary” and still called “Sloane’s” by its regular customers, Apothecaries are now located all over Mort. Opened in 885 by Sloane McDermott, the store gained a huge following amongst the Frother population. Sloane eventually sold the company to SLA Industries who in turn sold franchises to enterprising Frother Clans. While most franchises can be found in Mort Central or Uptown, there are a few locations in Suburbia and even a few scattered in the Upper Downtown area.

Apothecaries carry the full line of SLA hard and soft drugs and for the right price, can mix “cocktails” or synthesize drugs to order. From Coffin-Cigarettes to Ultra-Violence, it can be found here. There is even a full-service liquor department loaded with Slosh and other assorted alcoholic beverages. A small section of the store carries a selection of crisps, candies and assorted snack food. A night of pub crawling in the city usually means a stop at an Apothecary at some point (sometimes more than one stop).

The Apothecary also carries a full inventory of drug delivery systems from the basic air-hypo to voice activated multiple delivery IV systems. Drugs purchased from Apothecaries are always of the highest quality and anything less than 100% purity will not be sold.

Apothecaries are in high demand amongst the party going crowd, as the employees are knowledgeable in mixing Lumo to provide colors unavailable on the common market. Not surprisingly, the further an Apothecary shop is from Mort Central and Shiver Patrols, the more “exotic” the inventory becomes. It is rumored that rarities like Shatter are available for the right price, but SLA reminds you that purchase and use of Shatter is punishable by arrest and possible summary execution.

Apothecaries are only ever staffed by Frothers, with most locations being owned by specific clans. These Frothers are generally not the typical combat junkies, but scientists with intensive training in biology, chemistry, pharmaceuticals and an understanding of what chemicals are needed for what situation. However, for security, locations employ Kick Murder trained Frothers to patrol the area and protect against anyone stupid enough to try to rob the store. More than one potential shoplifter has ended up hospitalized or worse after being “apprehended” by store security.

ADDENDUM: Requests of drugs and chemicals that carry a D-NOTICE will be immediately reported to SLA authorities and punished to the fullest extent of the law.