Advertising Supplement/Restaurants/Hoffman's Delicatessen

Hoffman's Delicatessen

While Mort Central and Uptown boast an almost countless selection of dining choices, Suburbia is home to one of the successful independent eateries on Mort: Hoffman's Delicatessen. The décor is strictly utilitarian with plastic tables and chairs and white tiles floors and walls. Pictures and news clippings of celebrities and Operatives are scattered on the walls. Hoffman's, however, does not lack atmosphere. Abe Hoffman and his staff fill the shop with lively chatter about sports, politics and life on Mort in general. Like The Pit, Hoffman's maintains a strict “no weapons or heavy armor” policy. Facilities are not even provided for their temporary storage.

“Why do I do it? I run a deli, not a farkakt shooting gallery! Leave that drek in your car or at home. And these armor suits, OY! You'd think they were going to Cannibal Sector One and not for a nosh. You don't need five hundred pounds of ceramic to eat my Reuben. The worst that could happen to you here is a bit of gas. And that's just because the sauerkraut is so fresh! We use only fresh ingredients here.”

• Abe Hoffman, age 67

Hoffman's claims of freshness appear to be accurate. The constant lines at the counter indicate his food is as good as he claims. His suppliers are a closely guarded secret. The Shivers and Operatives refuse to look into it for fear they might find some illegal activity that will shut down the deli.

“Who knows where he gets his stuff from? It could be Randolph Logistics. Hell, it could be Thresher making nightly deliveries via powersuit drop. I don't know and don't intend to find out. I'm not doing anything to risk my daily knish.”

• Shiver Sergeant (name withheld by request)

In the end, Hoffman keeps his nose clean and his food fresh and delicious. Hoffman's serves traditional deli fare. Comfort foods are the order of the day with a fine selection of meats and cheeses, bagels and bialies, and assorted breads, soups and sandwiches. For over forty years Hoffman has faithfully served the people of Mort, gladly joining the Racial Equality Program.

“And why not? Stormers and Shaktars? Absolutely. It warms the heart to watch the big boys eat. Such appetites! And so polite. Wraiths? A dream customer. Rare brisket, what could be easier? The Frothers can be a bit meshuge, but what can you do? You don't complain about people who buy macaroons by the gross. Ebons? A bit tightly wound but such sheyn ponems! Brain Wasters? They can be schmucks sometimes but can't we all? They behave if they want to eat. I bet even Carrien would play nice here. You can't be mad at anyone when you have a bagel and schmear with a nice piece of lox.”

• Abe Hoffman, age 67

Hoffman's Deli is located in Suburbia; Maxwell Sector; Laughann's Walk 4213. Open 5am-Midnight daily.

Advertising Supplement/Sports/Mort Hockey League

Mort Hockey League

Type: Professional Hockey Organization

Location: Stadiums in Central, Uptown, Upper and Lower Downtown

Description: The Mort Hockey League (MHL) maintains four divisions of three teams each. The Divisions break down as follows:

Mort Central Division

Camden Sector Sanguines

Pegram Sector Rainfall

Carver Sector Fusion

Uptown Division

Runyon Sector Legionnaires

Striplin Sector Ennui

Rascette Sector Infernos

Suburbia Division

Maxwell Sector Ice Clowns

Freedman Sector Reapers

Macklin Sector Highlanders

Downtown Division

Lowell Sector Sewer Rats

Lower Hambelton Pest Control

Upper Hambelton Smoking Octopi

Each team has its own arena which is used for other events (concerts, conventions, other sports and Contract Circuit events) when the team is at an away game and during the off-season. It comes as a surprise to many people that the Downtown arenas are kept in very good repair and have their own Shiver Station attached.

Shivers have a special connection to the MHL, as the Lower Hambelton Pest Control began its life as an all Shiver hockey club. It is a matter of pride that the Shivers have had at least one of their ranks playing for each team in the MHL since the inception of the league. Each Shiver department in a league sector works hard to get a player on the local team. Shivers who go pro are excused from active duty during their time in the league, though they can be called to active duty in times of emergency. Shivers playing in the MHL are permitted to draw their regular Shiver salaries on top of league pay. Pay in the MHL is based on time and talent. Rookies can expect to make around 2,000c per season while veteran stars command 20,000c and up. Production and post season bonuses add to the pay and endorsement money can also sweeten the deal. Ennui star Jacques Forlaine brings in upwards of 50,000c per season with endorsements and bonuses. Not bad for a Shiver Sergeant.

The MHL is co-ed, with most teams having one or two women on the roster. On interesting side-note, over 65% of the women in the MHL play goalie. The MHL is exempt from the Racial Equality Program; Shaktars and Stormers are not permitted to play (even if they wanted to). Ebons and Brain Wasters, while not strictly prohibited, show no interest in playing the sport, let alone watching it. Wraith Raiders have become huge MHL fans, likely due to the ice and cold of the venues. Wraiths are permitted in the MHL; their speed and grace make them natural players, and several Wraiths have found fame in the ranks of the MHL. Frothers are permitted to play; the Macklin Highlanders is actually an all Frother team. The incredibly strict anti-drug policies tend to keep more Frothers out of the MHL, regardless of how much they enjoy the fighting and hitting people with sticks.

Drug screening in the MHL is regular and stringent, and no biogenetic enhancements are permitted. There is a zero tolerance policy for both, with a lifetime ban for the first offense. No explanations or excuses are accepted. There is no appeals process. Since the league began in 826SD, only eight players have been ejected for violating the drug and biogenetic policies. Players know better and respect the MHL far too much to risk it.

The MHL has worked to keep game tickets affordable, considering that a quarter of the teams in the league operate in low-income sectors. Ticket prices start at 5u for a standing room only pass to 125u for a seat on the glass at center ice at a marquee game. Each stadium can hold around 20,000 fans, so there are plenty of tickets in all price ranges. All games are televised, so fans who can't afford to get tickets can still follow their favorite teams.

Dining choices at games vary from stadium to stadium, with companies annually bidding on vending rights. Expect to see choices like BacBurger or Paramour Pizza in Suburbia/Downtown arenas, while Uptown/Central arenas offer selections from establishments such as Chez Bummin' or Hey! Fondue! Private boxes are often catered by fine restaurants like Martindale's.

An MHL season is 82 games, half played at home and half on the road. The playoffs is an elimination tournament consisting of four rounds of best-of-seven series. The first three rounds determine which team from each conference will advance to the final round. The grand prize in the MHL is the Progress Cup, a large platinum trophy etched with the champion roster for each year. Despite using small print, the Cup has grown to over five feet tall; when space runs out on the cup, another level is added.

Advertising Supplement/Convenience Stores/Honest Akhbar's

Honest Akhbar's

Type: Convenience Store

Locations: Suburbia, Upper Downtown, Lower Downtown

Description: Honest Akhbar's is a chain of dubious convenience stores located predominantly in Suburbia and Upper Downtown. The occasional franchise can be found on the first few levels of Lower Downtown. Honest Akhbar's does not maintain franchises in Uptown or Mort Central.

Honest Akhbar's stocks most mundane and sundry items and has a limited grocery section. Alcohol, tobacco, low end civilian drugs and a rather shockingly large selection of pornographic magazines are available, but kept behind a barrier of bullet proof glass along with the clerk. Akhbar's also features a menu of surprisingly good hot and cold foods for a quick meal. The average meal of a sandwich, chips and drink run about 2-3u.

Some may question how theft is controlled if the clerks are sealed up. The answer is quite simple. Honest Akhbar's has a posted policy that Operatives, Shivers and Monarchs never pay for a meal. While this does not extend to the rest of the store's inventory, the lure of free meals is enough to ensure that at almost any time of day or night, there will be some form of armed SLA employee or law enforcement agent on the premises at any given store. Wise people also know that Akhbar's clerks are a great source of information on what's going down in the streets; it pays to stay on the good side of the clerks. As a last stand against thieves, Honest Akhbar franchises are universally equipped with a unique security system. At the push of a button, metal grates drop from the ceiling to cover every door and window in the store. Once activated, these grates can not be raised by anything short of industrial equipment unless the clerk deactivates the system. With the thieves caged in, the clerk need only wait in his bullet proof kiosk until help arrives.

BPN Resolution: INVESTIGATION: WHITE

Issuing Department: Investigation
Color Code:WHITE
BPN #: IN/12252009/XM
Surveillance: Station Analysis
Squad/Operative Undertaking: Team Spartan
Date Issued/Date Completed: 12/26/902, 12/27/902

Summary:
- Squad dispatched to several Suburbia locales to investigate series of bombings
- Squad staked out several locations in Suburbia, eventually locating a targeted home
- Squad located bomber leaving area, pursued and captured suspect
-Shiver demolitions team dispatched to dispose of explosive; explosive successfully neutralized
-Squad leader Obsession interrogated suspect, revealing identity and location of individual ordering the bombings. Suspect turned over to Shivers.

Collateral Damage to SLA Property:MINIMAL. Firearms discharged in a civilian area. Any damage mitigated by safe disposal of explosive and prevention of future incidents.

Squad Fatalities:None.

Conclusion:BPN satisfactorily completed. Individual payout: 350c/Operative. SCL +0.5/Operative.

ADDENDUM: Squad recommended follow up Grey BPN to eliminate subversive responsible for organizing the bombings.

Advertising Supplement/Restaurants/ChünderHaüs

ChünderHaüs

Type: Self-Service Buffet
Locations: Multiple Uptown/Suburbia
Price: CC
Description: ChünderHaüs is a mix of new and old concepts in the area of buffet-style restaurants. The restaurant features several stations in the center. Each station is dedicated to one portion of the meal (appetizers, soups, salads, entrees, desserts, beverages, etc.). Each station features a staggering number of choices. To ease traffic at each station, food is kept on a conveyor belt that circles the station. A patron simply need to find a place to stand and the food will eventually come past him/her. When they have loaded their plates, they return to their seats.
ChünderHaüs is a member of the Racial Equality Program and welcomes members of all races. To cover the tremendous amount of food consumed, prices are a bit higher at 5 credits per person. The management has a posted policy regarding additional charges for excessive amounts of food taken or staying for more than an hour. Most patrons take the charges in stride, as the quality of food is surprisingly good.
ChünderHaüs is an extremely lively place to eat, with small skirmishes for the best selections not unheard of. As such, the furnishing is molded metal and plastic and bolted to the floor. Plates and glasses are designed to not break to a sharp edge. Ebons tend to avoid ChünderHaüses due to the noise and chaos. Naturally, Frothers and Brain Wasters enjoy the atmosphere immensely with impromptu contests of digestive prowess fairly common. ChünderHaüs is especially busy on "Orientan" nights, with calls to the Shivers to break up fights over the famous Orange Chicken an alarmingly regular occurence.