Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Advertising Supplement/Beverages/Product Review/Popskull Coffee

Popskull Coffee is the name brand of a line of canned, self-heating coffees. Simply pull the tab, and a chemical reaction occurs that safely heats the contents until the drink is piping hot. Popskull is most famous for the absolutely fantastic amounts of caffeine and other stimulants they pack into each can. To the uninitiated, a can of Popskull is a potentially traumatic experience. Mind-splitting headaches and audio/visual hallucinations are not uncommon for first time drinkers.

Why has Popskull become so popular since its creating back in 898SD? It works. People don't drink Popskull for subtle nuances of flavor. Nothing keeps you going on a drawn out White BPN like a can or two of Popskull. You can be sure that any Shiver Sleeper APC is going to be well stocked. Every dorm in Meny has at least one Popskull vending machine in the lounge.

Popskull? Oh man, holy shit, yeah! I mean that stuff is like anti-Drum! Wow! I can get twice the work done with a steady supply! Have you tried it? It's like anti-Drum! I mean just the other day I was on a BPN and..wait, what were we talking about? Popskull Coffee? Oh man, holy shit, yeah!

- Harsh, Brain Waster, SCL 10A.3

With tongue firmly planted in cheek, they named their coffees after medical conditions that cause severe head and face pain. Their inventory currently consists of six styles, with special flavors rotating in and out seasonally.

Subarachnoid Hemorrhage – Hearty Dark Roast

Orgasmic Cephalalgia – Caramel Latte

Chiari 1 Malformation – Cappuccino

Basilar Migraine – Espresso

Trigeminal neuralgia – Double Espresso

Temporal Arteritis – Classic Mild Roast

Popskull comes in a self-heating twelve ounce can and costs 2 credits/can.

Popskull Coffee is a subsidiary of Itztrong Beverages, a wholly owned subsidiary of SLA Industries

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