Thursday, March 12, 2009

Advertising Supplement/Restaurants/Taco Folders

Taco Folders

Type: Mexican fast food delivery

Location: Uptown

Description: Taco Folders is a 24 hour Mexican fast food restaurant that deals strictly in deliveries. There is a single Taco Folders location which is unable to accept dine-in or carry out orders. How can a single location, delivery-only restaurant deal with the vastness of Mort? Simple. Reality Folding. Taco Folders was created by two enterprising young Brain Wasters by the names of Moloch and Fester. Both had recently graduated from Meny and were already growing tired of BLUE BPN’s and having barely enough money to order a pizza.

One night, after beating the crap out of a pizza delivery man for not making it to their apartment in fifteen minutes, they lamented on the lack of truly “fast” delivery on Mort. As they ate their pizza, they realized it would just be easier to Reality Fold out to get the pizza themselves. However, it would cost them FLUX coming and going. Then inspiration struck. What if the food could be folded directly to them? They could almost hear the credits rolling in. People would pay big money for the convenience of having food delivered virtually instantaneously. Thus Taco Folders was born.

The question arose of how to produce the Flux necessary for this undertaking. Moloch’s father, Shadow, is an Ebon who works in Dark Lament. Anxious to have as little to do with his Waster son as possible, Shadow bought Moloch a case of Eternal Flux Gems.

The process of ordering is simple: Fax in your order along with your address and a picture of the room you want the food delivered to. Then simply authorize the payment from your account. At the restaurant, cooks prepare your meal and hand it off to the shipping department. The shipping department is a single Necanthrope named Clarity. Clarity was a SCL 2.1C Foldship navigator for over a hundred years. However repeated trips past White Earth and out towards the Black Stump have taken their toll on his mind. When asked why he would take such a menial job, Clarity’s answer is quite disturbing. “I have seen more than any mind should have to comprehend. I have beheld the face of our universe and realize how insignificant I truly am. I seek simplicity. Once I traveled the cosmos at will. Now I provide sustenance to the people of this dead planet. Is one any less amazing than the other?” With Clarity’s knowledge of Reality Folding, an address and picture is more than enough information to send orders directly to the table of the customer.

Taco Folders has been described by The Preceptor Teeth as “one of the more egregious wastes of Flux I have witnessed. This enterprise is an embarrassment to entire society of Ebb users. If I had still had the capacity to laugh or cry, I don’t know which I would do in regards to this.” No small claim coming from the most powerful Ebb user on the planet. However, this public chastisement has served to make Taco Folders extremely profitable. Profitable enough that SLA Industries and the Department of Ebb are looking to acquire the up-and-coming business. Taco Folders is also in talks with Dark Lament about an endorsement.

A meal from Taco Folders starts at about 3 credits for a single combo meal. Larger meals will cost more and may take a few extra minutes. Meals generally take 5-7 minutes from order to delivery. However, Taco Folders guarantees no meal will ever take more than 10 minutes.

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